what's on

just want to share what's on my mind.
having about 4 month days off from my school activities was exciting because we have freedom long enough to do anything that we can't do because be shut in school tasks, but actually it was boring too. see i had exam on April and after that all things about school DONE but still came school-back home for finishing some affairs, maybe about school tasks *sigh* or school fee or returned school book or joined courses or about school yearbook or maybe promnight meeting or what. i dunno what should i do but at that moments i just focus on studying and thinking how the way i get in my favorite university and ofc with right direction. you have known how my struggle is, how my happy or sad tears up over and now i have got the result umm little disappointing but ya it's the best way that God given to me. lots of pleased to becoming students of undip like what i want, but not direction or department that i want much ha! but doesn't matter thanks God for all for everything.
and then on May the exam is announced and thanks God again i passed it well with satisfy score too. maybe you think that May a good month but hey that a big wrong! i got failed on my first test undip and it was pretty made me down and hard to rise up, but fortunately i have a great family great friends great guy and great people around me including all of you buddies mihihi.. i could rise up bcause supporting from all *kisses* and i promise to study hard more and more and not to disappointing you my parents and my own self for second time. then June already, can you guess is June being a good or bad month?good??bad?! haha hell yeah that's being a bad month again after May. the case was same, i got failed again to get in undip ha-ha. i dunno what to say but after i knew that i failed then i started to get weak and felt that i am the poorest people ever i couldn't accept reality because, God i have studied hard, i have effort i pray always how come this creepy reality was coming?my friends who haven't studied seriously can pass it successfully but why i can not?oh ya i know it's about brain and luck. from here i can learn that this is life.. :)
third undip test. it was the third and it was my LAST opportunity. and it was on.. July. nothing much saying, July was a good month aaaaa. i got it, undip, english literature. well it's all just flash back. just summary of my tense stories on this year.

and now i am a colleger. but honestly i miss already senior high school. totally right what people say that senior high school is the best moments, unforgettable moments. so for you all shs's students, enjoy your moments now, becos it can't be back again and i sure if you go to colleger you'll feel what i feel. i know i just had 'yesterday' out of shs, but i don't know why i have missed it, i miss wearing uniform, i miss ma teachers my crazy friends, and sure miss atmosphere of school. i guess that college is ummm scary. not absorbing. and.. troublesome. imagine, the schedules are fluctuations anytime, then lecturers are teach colleger arbitrarily, then wearing 'free' clothes (not uniform), and soon. that's extremely different with shs hm?? shs are having fixed schedules, teachers are good (ups, not all!), and wearing uniform. i don't like wearing free clothes becos it can spur social inequalities. from what we wear, we can see who is he, who is she, ummm hard to say in words do you know what i mean? if we wear uniform all of students are same. and i my self prefer uniform than free clothes. but yeah it's college. not school. buddiesssssss i feel that i haven't ready yet to be a colleger :( i haven't ready yet to be mature :( mind, heart, remember, human are growing, impossible if you just be a child child and child. you'll be mature. ya, mature. ah one again! tasks college! eh what it called? thesis? or what? ah i dunno i don't learn more yet about college. even i don't have know more yet about my university, about where is the library, then how to fill the schedules well, about the lessons, about who is ma lecturer and bla bla bla. then.. i ever heard that if we have changed into colleger, so we'll change too to becoming a selfish! scary huh? is it right or not? i mean selfish is there isn't solidarity between others, there is no togetherness, compactness with friends. whereas in shs, compactness is the most important things, take it for example i and classmate ever lied to our teacher, like this, teacher asked students, is there a homework?? then we are yelled, no sir! then the teacher: oh well, we continue our chapter. mihihi well that's naughty and don't try this at school :p but there are so many compactness in good things too ofc :) and the sad thing in college is there isn't exist extracurricular cheerleaders haha! what you say extracurricular in 'college dictionary'? umm i am forget -_- i miss cheeleading too oh last night i dreamed that i with queen cheers was cheerleading on stage :3 we were yelling, dancing, flirting :3

well holidays is over. welcome my new life, my new activites, and welcome 'new me', be mature!